Monday, May 28, 2012

Gymkata Gymkata was a great movie. Classic 80's movie that was one you could see over and over. I have enjoyed seeing this one many times. Gymnast Kurt Thomas was kicking some ass. KIDS Larry Clark's KIDS is a movie I have seen many times. Larry Clark's KIDS was a very good movie. I had no problem with the endless amount of young teen violence and promiscious sex. I think it is not liked by all but has a definite cult following. I thought it just should what people did or really wanted to do at that age without the afterthoughts of police after you, or death and AIDS. ECW One Night Stand ECW One night stand 2005 was a memorable night because all the fans did think we would see the talent of ECW back together for one night only. I feel each match on this night the wrestlers gave 120% and I truely enjoyed watching this dvd. I did originally see it on cable the night it aired. The Black Donnellys I rented NBC show The Black Donnellys. I didn't like the first one or two episodes very much but now after seeing all three disks of this series I did enjoy the show very much. I loved the concept but think it would've worked alot better as a two hour movie versus a whole season. I did not watch it at all on NBC and I feel many others only watched 1 episode or so and got bored. Oh well, tough break for the cast.

spark

Spark that blunt nigga Current mood:happy Well, I need to finally post a review of something I did for a local Brooklyn Ny newspaper years and years ago: (From summer 1996 to be exact While more and more people are buying Cd players or stereos and radios with the CD compatibility, Cd sales continue at a healthy pace. A large part of this equation has to do with the Hip/Hop scene, which is in full effect in 1996. The album I will start you off with is Liquid Swords by the GZA/GENIUS. It was released in late 1995. I liked the album alot but I think it is not the best I have heard. The Genius is solo on his new album but gets alot of help from his friends, The Wu-Tang Clan. My favorite songs are Shadowboxing' with Method Man, 4th Chamber with Tony Starks, Killah Priest, and the Rza, Killah Hills 10304, I Gotcha Back and Duel of the Iron Mic. This is a great album for Wu-Tang fans and just an average album for general rap fans. I have gotten alot of positive feedback for the GZA's Liquid Swords. This album has already sold over 70,000 copies in the store as of June 96. All in all, I would give GZA/GENIUS' Liquid Swords three stars out of a possible 4. For now Liquid Swords is the latest Wu/solo project but later in the summer, Tony Starks is going solo with the album Iron Man. (Yeah that for real, I had the scoop too. I had the demo tape the whole summer a full 4 months ahead of the general public Iron Man from meeting a rep from his label) Allmusic [1] Entertainment Weekly (B+) [2] Melody Maker (Positive) [2] Rap Reviews [3] NME [2] Option (Positive) [2] Q [4] Stylus Magazine (Favorable) [5] The Wire (Positive) [2] The Source Added the reviews from other venues just now) The Wu-Tang Clan were on top of the Hip/Hop scene in 1994 and now each member just happens to be going solo and developing identities for themselves. Method Man has Tical, Raekwon has his first album Only Built for Cuban Linx, The Old Dirty Bastard has Return to the 36 Chambers, and also the two previously mentioned albums above. Ghostface Killah and others of course appeared on the original album: the Platinum chart-topper Enter the Wu-Tang: The 36 Chambers. This was the best album because all the forces were combined. The original albums are very crucial for the sucessful launch of these solo careers. Now that I am talking about the subject, I will talk about the album. I should mention that my favorite songs off the album happen to be The Mysteries of Chessboxing, C.R.E.A.M, Protect Ya Neck, and Can It Be So Simple. The album overall I will say is a classic. I give it 4 stars for true Hip/Hop greatness. Another great album (no good or bogus albums so far) that is recently climbing up the charts is The Score by the Fugees. This album is great because it combines rap with classic style of R&B mix with phat beats and slamming poetic lyrics. My favorite songs are Ready or Not, Fu-gee-la, and Killing Me Softly. The second album from the Fugees seems better than the first. The Fugees are moving up the charts at a very rapid pace. They debuted on the Billboard Top 200 at No.7. At the present time, The Fugees are locked in at the Number 2 spot (As of May 6, 1996). The song, Killing Me Softly, is a remake of a Roberta Flack song. Unlike most remakes done today, this one is done perfectly. Fu-gee-la is a song about refugees that are trying to leave for a better life. This is the variety of the music that is the Fugees. I really did like the hit Nappy Headz off the first Fugees album from 1994, that was a real underground sensation. Fugees use the best mix of Hip/Hop and rap lyrics mixed with some of the best sensual singing out there. When I first heard of the Fugees in 1994 (also known as Refugee Camp) I did not generally like them as a whole group but now they would be on a list as one of my favorites. I give The Score three stars out of a possible four for it's originality and fresh quality. Stay tuned for more phat reviews in the future.
Football 1. Who is your favorite team? The New York Giants, my fav team, New Orleans Saints are my second. 2. Be honest, do you think they will make the playoffs this year? Of Course, they are on a roll and are the super bowl champs. Saints right now are on the bubble but most likely will head to playoffs as well. 3. Which player has been the most valuable for your team this season? Plaxico (lol) just for media attention and helping everyone else actually think about football. I think Steve Smith, Brandon Jacobs, Derrick Ward are great, Antonio Pierce is excellent on defense and Carney is doing a great job kicking field goals. 4. Which player has been the most disappointing? Plaxico, that guy is a loser. Why did he carry a gun to LQ, that club is not that gangsta anyway. I don't even think the spot is poppin like it used to be. Kevin Boss is a little dissappionting.
5 shots for $10 unless you are Black Current mood:bitchy i saw this on a website: A group of coworkers went to The Continental after work. They let the mixed race group in, but when one of them left to make a phone call, they wouldn't let him back inside. They said it was because of how he was dressed. Then they let a guy in who was wearing an almost identical outfit. He was black. Guy they let in was white. From the Gothamist: "I made a bad call letting you in." "What do you mean?" "We have a dress code here. You have a sideways cap and baggy shorts." At this point, I understand how clubs do what they can to control the climate at places. The rules against baseball caps and sneakers, etc. are generally to keep out a crowd they don't want. Most recently, as I waited to meet people for a newyorkers meetup that no one attended, I was told by a doorman that I could wear my cap forward or backward, not sideways, and I did so accordingly. I have no problem with rules. So I compromise and respond: "Where is your dress code written? I can remove the cap and I have a change of clothes inside." "We can't do it. It's about a general vibe." My eyes are fighting not to roll out of their sockets at this point. I tell the doorman I am going in to get my things. As I go inside to grab my bag and my friends, the owner GRABS me and asks me "Where are you going?" "I'm going to get my things. "You wait here. I'll get your friends and your things. You don't run this place." What. The. Fuck? My friends were both White. They apparently were wearing trendy "East Village" attire that consisted of Black jeans that stained of spilled mayo and black shirts with a patch that indicated that they worked at a restaurant that can be found in Times Square. The owner had nothing against what they were wearing, but when I repeated that I had that same exact uniform and could change into it, he repeated: "It's about the vibe. We have a regular clientele here. Once you're out, you're out. There are thousands of clubs in New York City" As I waited on the sidelines boiling about this, I saw two other black men get ejected, one being in the group of my friends that came to meet us there. Unlike myself, he wore his complete work uniform. No cap, no sneakers, no "baggy pants." He wasn't allowed in and when asked why, the doorman gave no real reason.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

who strike to carry out a sexual fetish or to satiate “an inappropriate pleasure driven by immature fantasies.” Though gropers may be moving to humiliate a victim, or exhibit power over one, they choose “a sexual methodology to carry out that plan." and develop techniques for carrying it out, and others act out impulsively because of emotional or situational factors, sometimes with inhibitions lowered by drug or alcohol use. Others, she said, carry out frottage — rubbing for the sake of sexual gratification — particularly in crowded places like Rockefeller Plaza at Christmastime.

*AVENGERS*

sO I finally got to see the Avengers movie and now I am ready to see it again. I seriously loved the flick. This experience seeing THE AVENGERS alone was a 5 star one. I saw it the second weekend it came out, I knew the first week crowds would be too ridiculous. I got the chicken tenders at the concessions. It was good and costs $7.75 but to me a big large popcorn does not do it for me. I would rather have real food and since I did not eat before hand, I got it here. The chicken was good and rather large in size. I give the movie a 10 out of 10. It is a must see again. I will go soon, back in the theaters.

FOOOOOOOD

make a take-out order for an extra big bowl of #7: tai nam sach pho with combination rice noodles beef soup with fresh eye of round, navel, & omosa for $7.10 after tax. -GOTTA try this PHO here.

*THANOS*

Thanos is one of the most powerful villains that can actually surpass Hulk in strength, Juggernaut in Stamina, wolverine in regeneration and durability and silver surfer in speed 

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Don't base your tip on the food's taste; the server has no control over it. tipping guidelines: Restaurant wait staff: 13 percent to 20 percent of the bill. When your party stays through the time that the restaurant could seat and serve others, tip twice the amount. Hoffman says you should always leave a minimal tip, even with abysmal service. Tips are generally shared by the restaurant's workers. Takeout: Nothing is necessary. But if you receive some service, like a waiter packaging your food, then tip $1 to $2 or up to 10 percent. For sushi, tip 10 percent for its preparation, Hoffman says. Tip jars at fast-food counters: Nothing required; it's your call.
Dating tip number two, Try not to catch chlamydia even if you like to fuck alot. Girls in bars that you try to take home, do not trust them.

Dating tips 1 of them

When you have a crush on someone, most of the major action happens via text message. You agonize every word and punctuation choice, thinking that the wrong decision can ultimately make or break your chances for a relationship, but you know what? It’s total BS. Stop consulting your friends about it because whenever you receive a text from The One, they’re going to give you bad advice like, “Wait a few hours to text him back. You don’t want to appear desperate.” But then you know what happens if you sit on a text and take four hours to respond? Your crush, in turn, picks up on your little game and waits even longer to respond to your text. It becomes a vicious cycle and before you know it, it’s been two days and you’ve accomplished nothing besides “Hey. What’s up?” Just text them back when you receive the text, for the love of God. You won’t seem desperate! And even if you do, who cares? This person is obviously not the one for you if they can’t handle a punctual text. COULD YOU REALLY HAVE A BABY WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN’T DEAL WITH SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS AN ON-TIME TEXT? -REALLY

I have alway meant to go to one of these

IN CENTRAL PARK FREE tickets to Shakespeare in the Park are distributed on the day of the performance beginning at 1PM at The Delacorte Theater in Central Park. The closest entrances to the Delacorte are at 81st Street and Central Park West or 79th Street and Fifth Avenue. There is a limit of 2 tickets per person. Please check back in late-May for more information!

^Maybe next Sat the 11th I wake my ass up at the crack of fucking sunrise.
The subways have come a long way since the ’70s, but cleaner trains are not necessarily safer. If we are going to herald our improvements in transit safety, “strikes, shoves and kicks,” “following a person in a public place,” harassment and other misdemeanors must be included in the MTA’s crime count. Until we have safety transparency in our subway, these crimes will continue to stand clear of the closing doors.

Sometimes you see this on the subway too

The F train: Prospect Park and 7th Ave, the Q/B Train Parkside




On the 1st Ave westbound L stop I saw a woman hike her skirt up to her waist and piss standing up. Splashed everywhere, including her. Not sure if she was a hippie or a standard homeless woman.
I hear the best way to get over a woman is to get under another one. I gave this little episode of mine some time but there are complete scheduling issues. I thought I met a girl I could really relate to. She is one I met from my imfamous Speed dating event but we have not been able to meet up again since March. She was in Miami hanging out and shit then the next week we were supposed to meet up I went to Las Vegas then the week after she said she was in Chicago. It is kinda funny I remember that speed dating event like it was yesterday.I even wrote down some of the names that I could remember incase I ever decided to do a blog for it.

So here is the concept: Speed Dating Event First room had about 18 guys and maybe 28 females, lol.

And here we go. Now I honestly don't remember all the names of course but it was a bad start just from the go. Started off with a Dominican girl named Maria. I got the vibe already that she was super bored and did not even want to be there. So I straight up said it like you must be here just because your friends are here. Ok, next I got a older maybe Jewish woman named Jean. I was like oh great this will be a long 3 minutes. She just looks at me like "You are too young for me, how old are you?". I was like its ok. I don't mind then I tried some bullshit conversation anyway like hey what do you like to do for fun. Then I met two twins or just sisters but they did look alike. I name I forgot the other was Maria. She was mad cool, she gave me her email address and everything. It wasn't a hey I wanna FUCK you vibe but still a good one. The other sister looked good too but she was not as friendly of chatty, they were separate dates not both sisters together, lol. Then I met a spanish godess named VALENTINA, oh man she looked fucking good but I KNEW she was not really here looking for a date. I looked over at her dating score card really quickly and she had not picked even 1 guy from the whole list of everyone she met that night. Our conversation was good though but she said her friends were there and she just wanted free drinks that night. She was hot as fuck though. I also met a chinese girl I think her name was Ting. She was not my type at all. This girl was way too skinny for me and she seemed to talk way too much and her voice was a bit annoying. Yeah it seemed like a long 3 minute date. I had to just think to myself on to the next one, YEAP. Then it was a few other interesting dates in between. I met on girl I actually knew from YELP but I played it off like I didn't know her. She looked cute in person I have to agree but not really my type. I had never seen her at any of the YELP meetups, I guess we just went to different events. Then I met another cute older Jewish woman but the vibe was not that great. I HAD ONE EPISODE where i just completely skipped over one chick cause I didn't wanna deal with her. I heard her chewing out the last guy that was at her table. Some punk rock looking bitch, she was wack as shit, NO BODY on her at all. Of course she was so offended that I skipped over her, she chimmed in 100 times and wrecked my date with the next girl, oh well who cares.. It was some real funny shit overall.. Sponsored by DR. PEPPER, they were some great drinks there I have to admit.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The WWE Guide to the NBA The Masked Man [ARCHIVE] April 27, 2012 Comment on this story Facebook Twitter Back in December, when David Stern vetoed Chris Paul's trade to the Los Angeles Lakers, I tweeted that if Stern didn't start using WWE chairman Vince McMahon's theme song as his entrance music, there was no hope left in the world. The song, after an ominous and largely indecipherable first verse, is basically a lengthy repetition of the phrase "You've got no chance in hell." But let me be clear: The song wasn't fitting only because the chorus was a lyrical version of Stern's eff-you to New Orleans GM Dell Demps, the Hornets, and the good sense of every cognizant NBA fan. The song matched Stern so well because the nearly inexplicable Paul decision represented the final, complete conversion of Stern into a self-caricature — a swaggering, pro-wrestling-style evil bossman, which is the character McMahon has spent the better part of two decades perfecting. Stern is every bit as diabolical as McMahon, every bit as power-hungry, and every bit as self-satisfied. You can tell he relishes the boos and the vitriol aimed at him, like an actor trying to raise the audience's ire; that people questioned his decision to revoke the Paul trade seemed only to reinforce its validity in his eyes. In a lot of ways, Stern fits the role more naturally than McMahon does. He doesn't have Vince's brawn, or his cartoonish facial expressions, or his movie-villain hairstyle, but that's because he doesn't need them. Stern isn't part of the WWE universe — he's in a much subtler world. A real one, you might even say. With the NBA playoffs upon us, the question occurred to me: If David Stern is the league's Vince McMahon, then who are the NBA equivalents of pro wrestling's other biggest names? With an assist from some of my stablemates (to deliberately mix metaphors) in the Grantland staff, I've put together a rough list. LeBron James Is John Cena Hey, basketball fans: You know that illicit charge you feel during every James fourth-quarter meltdown? And how when you see a kid in a no. 6 Heat jersey, you just shake your head and wonder what kind of parents would allow him to root for that idiot? And you know how, no matter how much you hate James, deep down you're glad that he's there, just to have somebody to boo? Welcome to pro wrestling fans' relationship with our flag-bearer, the face of WWE, John Cena. This is an obvious one, and I've received about 100 tweets over the last six months that make the same comparison. No athletes but Cena and James hear such passionate, dueling boos and cheers in every arena they visit or inspire such fervent emotions in their fanatics and detractors. But they have more in common than just their hatability: They're both famous for a brand of charity work that makes soft-hearted supporters swoon and causes cynics to retch — Cena with the Make-A-Wish Foundation (which provides WWE with an excuse not to turn Cena into a bad guy) and LeBron with the Boys & Girls Club (which gave him a flimsy excuse for airing The Decision on national television). They're both proud of their hometowns — LeBron of Akron, Ohio, and Cena of West Newbury, Massachusetts (but, if crowd reaction is any indication, they also are roundly despised there). Both guys are of, shall we say, suspicious stature, which caused many people to accuse LeBron of being older than 18 when he came into the league, and led many to accuse Cena of consuming something more than standard-issue protein shakes. To be honest, they're both probably the most dependable top-tier performers in their respective fields, even if their swarms of haters choose to think otherwise. Finally — and this is most perplexing — both are essentially indecipherable, even to the respective online intelligentsias of basketball and wrestling. No consensus has ever been reached about whether James and Cena have "it," despite their unmatched skill and celebrity. Dwyane Wade Is CM Punk Since Punk and Cena have been the twin towers of fan response over the past nine months, it's only right that Wade be aligned with his frenemy teammate. Both Wade and Punk are famously from Chicago, both started off in humble beginnings — Wade was only recruited by three colleges and Punk was overlooked by the major promotions during his independent wrestling days. Both guys have mouths that get them in trouble — Wade most recently with his comments about Olympians getting paid and Punk with his truth-to-power worked shoots last summer. Both are notorious ladies' men — Wade is alleged to have cheated on his wife and with subsequent ladyfriend Gabrielle Union, and Punk is rumored to have dated half the female wrestlers who have crossed his path. Both guys are proselytizers for their respective lifestyles — Punk about his straight-edge code and Wade with his newfound commitment to healthy eating. Both exist in the shadow of their more famous but arguably less deserving co-stars. Most significantly, both guys are among the best in their respective sports at pretending to get the shit beat out of them — Punk is one of the best "sellers" in wrestling, and Wade is on a never-ending quest to get foul calls every time he drives to the basket. And before you wrestling fans argue that Punk and Cena feuded last summer (something Wade and James have avoided, at least in public) and that they're not teammates, allow me to argue that neither point disqualifies the Punk-Wade comparison. Cena and Punk now coexist uneasily, about as uneasily as LeBron and Wade do. Punk and Cena seem almost to exist in separate WWE universes, and they're at their best when the other is far away, locked in another feud; likewise, LeBron and Wade each look their best when the other is stowed away on the bench. In this overextended metaphor, Alberto Del Rio is Chris Bosh — the troika's third man who looked really incredible when his supporting cast was weak, but who has since become slightly more than an afterthought or an occasional punch line. Dwight Howard Is Mark Henry I know, I know. You're going to say I'm saddling Dwight with Henry's mediocre career. But that's the point — especially with Dwight's recent "back issues," coach-killing, and flip-flopping about his future in Orlando, the first word that comes to mind with either of them has to be "disappointment," right? And really, as much as the NBA hype machine has aided Dwight's career, imagine if ESPN covered WWE like they do the NBA. You can bet Skip Bayless would have been arguing about Henry, the 500-pound Olympic weightlifter, every morning for the past 10 years. And look at their similarities: Both Dwight and Henry are big, monstrous, force-of-nature performers. Both have dominant but inadequate repertoires, limited to forceful versions of very basic moves, like Dwight's dunks and Henry's body slams. Dwight tried to get his coach fired; Henry got suspended for attacking Smackdown GM Teddy Long. And, despite their brutish physiques, both men are wannabe artistes — Dwight wants to be an actor, while Henry has always fancied himself a poet. Carmelo Anthony Is Triple H Both guys jumped from smaller markets to be the biggest star on the biggest stage. Along the way, both guys seemed to think they deserved more glory than they were getting. Both guys married public figures (Melo wed LaLa and Triple H said his vows to Stephanie McMahon). They each have reputations for being selfish and egotistic, and for holding others (like Lin and Chris Jericho) down to maintain their place at the top of the food chain. Because of this, they're both hated by a huge swath of the fan base, to the point that it clouds how great they actually are. Melo and Triple H can do many things better than almost all their peers, which is why it's so frustrating that their "characters" are all people talk about. Eventually, they'll both go into the Hall of Fame, and we'll probably forget how they were so unpopular that they were underrated for the second halves of their careers. Hey, you know who else is hated? He's coming up next. Kobe Bryant Is "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair Above all else, both Kobe and Flair are the most despised stars of their generation. (And as much as people love Flair now, I'm sure we'll all be hypnotized by history into loving Kobe about a decade after he retires.) They're both old-timers who keep plugging away at a relatively high level with incredible longevity, seemingly at odds with Father Time. Both of them are famously self-centered and picky about deferring to other stars — Kobe to Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol, most recently, and Flair to up-and-comers like Lex Luger. They both have a significant injury history — Kobe has had shoulder reconstruction, sprained ankles, back injuries, a bad knee, dislocated fingers, a torn wrist ligament, etc. Flair broke his back in a plane crash and has lost gallons of blood in the ring over the years. They both have lost a huge chunk of their fortunes to divorce settlements — Kobe's ex got $75 million and three homes; Flair's three broken marriages have bled him dry, leading to an array of questionable financial decisions. And both men, of course, abide by Flair's famous self-description: "limousine riding, jet flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin' dealin' son of a gun," with special emphasis on the "kiss-stealing." Present-day Kobe is roughly equivalent to mid-'90s Flair. And just like it often pained wrestling fans to watch Flair cling to his career for another decade — not that there weren't great moments, but still — I hope all of you basketball fans are ready for 10 more years of Kobe Bryant Still Playing Basketball. Seriously, in what situation does he formally retire? If he broke his spine tomorrow, do you think there's any chance at all he won't rehab to come back from it? He'd be trying to make it back in time for Game 1 of the Finals. The only way I can imagine Kobe retiring is if the Lakers win another ring in the next few years and then give Kobe a huge on-court retirement party basically against his will. But even if they pull that off, it will only take a season or two for him to reemerge as the starting two-guard for the Sacramento Kings. Which is, you know, exactly what happened to Flair, more or less. The Celtics Are The nWo Here's the scene: Two borderline superstars (Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen in the NBA; Kevin Nash and Scott Hall in WCW) moved to a new team and joined up with an existing icon (Paul Pierce; Hulk Hogan) to make the new team competitive, embrace their inner a-holes, and shoot for a place in the history books. With his height, creaky knees, and general dickishness, Garnett is Nash; as an underrated star with psychological issues, Allen (borderline obsessive-compulsive disorder) is Hall (drug and alcohol addiction). Both groups made it to the top, and both groups fell into a mess of outsized egotism and internal squabbling after their peak. Both squads relied on a smaller, unorthodox, younger, and more athletic performer — Rajon Rondo and X-Pac, respectively — to do the grunt work on their way to the top. When their dominance petered out, they both looked to other, less-entrenched stars to pick up the slack. (I like to think that Rasheed Wallace is the Celtics' Scott Steiner. And since he was only brought back as part of an elaborate prank on Boston fans, Jermaine O'Neal is Virgil.) Both groups put together another run when everybody thought they were done — the nWo in WWE and the Celtics this season. (I know, I know — the real hiccup here is the Pierce-Hogan parallel, though I'm sure the Celtics diehards will endorse it. But they'll like this just as much: I see Hogan as a better match for Larry Bird. They're both supreme champions of a bygone era who abandoned big markets to run the show at small-time, small-market operations (TNA Wrestling for Hogan and the Indiana Pacers for Bird). Both have famous mustaches and an unnerving history of hip and foot injuries. Each is a demigod in his sport, and like all good mythic figures, neither has much of a personality outside his in-ring/on-court character.) Tim Duncan Is The Undertaker "In this corner, hailing from Texas, standing at 6-foot-11, wearing black and staring ominously at his opponent …. " You get the point. Each of them is a stonefaced stoic, basically the last big man standing of his generation, and each is revered within the fraternity of his sport. Even if people say they're washed-up — Undertaker only wrestles once a year at this point, more or less; looking at the Spurs' box scores on some nights, you'd be excused for thinking that Duncan had retired — how many washed-up guys are the defensive anchor for a no. 1 seed, and how many washed-up guys performed in the best match of WrestleMania? They're both good for one big run every year, and they're mature enough to know that in the end, the big stage — the playoffs for Duncan and WrestleMania for 'Taker — is what really matters. (Oh, and Undertaker is basically a zombie, while the way Duncan keeps chugging along is almost supernatural. I'm not saying Duncan is actually a high-functioning zombie, but would you really be surprised to find out he was?) Steve Nash Is Bret Hart Well, I mean, obviously. Two of the biggest Canadian superstars ever (minus Justin Bieber, sketch comedians, and Barenaked Ladies) have to go together, right? And these guys are no run-of-the-mill Canadians. Both are national icons because they've conquered the United States. Nash carried the torch during the opening ceremony for the 2010 Winter Olympics, and Hart carried the proverbial torch for his country during his run in the 1990s as the leader of a militia-esque posse of Canadian-supremacist wrestlers. Each guy is known for his fundamentals and for his traditionalism — Bret as a graduate of his father Stu's famous "Dungeon" of pro wrestling training, and Nash as a pass-first point guard. They make everyone around them better, even though they both spent years surrounded by lousy supporting casts — Nash with the post-Amar'e Suns and Bret in the pre–Attitude Era WWF. And they both have sketchy, stringy, long dark hair that you couldn't describe without a lot of uncomfortable pauses or without saying, "You'll just have to see it." Dirk Nowitzki Is The Miz As much as it pains me as a Mavericks fan to acknowledge this — and as much as I've truly enjoyed the Miz at times in the past couple of years — it's true. I was watching a Mavs game in a bar in January and a guy next to me literally asked his friend who won the NBA title last year. With Dirk Nowitzki on the screen in front of him. This, sadly, seems to be Dirk's legacy — that his championship run was almost immediately forgotten (or tossed aside as an anomaly). Same thing with The Miz's WWE championship run last year. No matter how many times he reminds us that he headlined WrestleMania in 2011, it won't make it feel any more real. Both guys are endlessly entertaining, but they've been saddled with crappy roles by their respective owners this year. Dirk has suffered because the irritatingly smart Mark Cuban read the new collective bargaining agreement and determined that re-signing Dirk's championship teammates was impossible. The Miz has been overshadowed by the return of The Rock and the unplanned ascendance of CM Punk. Both Dirk and the Miz are occasionally in the doghouse with Stern/McMahon — Dirk because of Cuban's anti-establishmentarian ravings and Miz because of his own various ineptitudes. And yet with both guys, there's a feeling that, with a little help — if Miz gets put into the right program, or if Dirk gets the right supporting cast — they'll be back in the spotlight next year. Deron Williams Is Kurt Angle There's a moment, every once in a while, when NBA fans are flipping channels through their NBA Season Pass and they hit a Nets game and see Deron going off for 30 points, and they say, "Oh, god, I totally forgot about him!" That's how wrestling fans feel when they stumble upon a Thursday-night TNA wrestling show and see Angle — who was basically put out to pasture by WWE — competing in a four-star classic match in a tiny arena. They're both toiling in near-anonymity while the rest of the world goes on as if they don't exist. Both of them are old-school talents — D-Will with his wide-hipped old-man pick-and-roll game and Angle with his Olympic wrestling background — who are well-liked despite being notorious backstage power players (D-Will got Jerry Sloan fired; Angle feuded with Jeff Jarrett after Jarrett started a relationship with Angle's ex-wife, Karen). And both guys will be starting for the Dallas Mavericks next year. What's that? Oh, okay. Sorry, Kurt. Jeremy Lin Is Daniel Bryan Okay, maybe this one is too obvious because their respective moments in the spotlight nearly overlapped. Both guys are walking metaphors for the underrated everyman, underdogs no one expected to succeed who, when they were finally given a chance, became hugely, unimaginably popular. For a week or two, anyway. Both have creeds central to their personas — Lin's Christianity and Bryan's veganism. Both guys toiled in the minors before they made it to the big time — Lin in the D-League and as 12th or 13th man on the Warriors and Rockets, and Bryan on the independent wrestling circuit. Metta World Peace Is "Macho Man" Randy Savage They both have wonderfully fake names, terrible rap albums, and famous elbows. Stern and McMahon hate both of them, Stern because of Artest's role in the Malice at the Palace, and McMahon because (among other reasons) Savage was rumored to have deflowered Stephanie McMahon. As such, both will probably be blacklisted from their respective Halls of Fame. Blake Griffin Is Dolph Ziggler Both guys are immensely talented, absurdly muscled, bounce around like flubber, and will probably be the most hated guys in their respective sports within three years. Ziggler will be "hated" for being the best heel in the biz; Blake will just be hated. I'm not quite sure how Chris Paul fits in as Ziggler's partner Jack Swagger, but Vinny Del Negro as their exasperating manager Vickie Guerrero? The jokes practically write themselves. If you can't imagine Del Negro trying to get everyone's attention in a team meeting by yelling, "Excuse me! Excuse me!" only to be drowned out by boos, then I don't know what to tell you. Jason Kidd Is Shawn Michaels They're both all-time greats despite obvious limitations — Kidd's lack of a jumper and Michaels's small frame. They both had famously overbearing women in their lives with whom they engaged in abusive relationships — Michaels was managed by Sensational Sherri and Kidd had ex-wife Joumana. And no matter how many times you think they're done, both men keep hanging around. Michaels has retired twice now, and he wrestled well into his 40s. Kidd found a second life as a sharp-shooting sidekick on the 2011 championship Mavs at the age of 38. Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook Are The Rockers I know I just used Shawn Michaels, but if you can think of a better hyperdynamic tag-team relationship that will inevitably end up with one of the guys tossing the other through a plate glass window, let me know. Michael Jordan Is The Rock The Rock is the self-professed Great One; Jordan is the widely acknowledged greatest basketball player ever. The Rock makes lousy movies; Jordan makes inane commercials. The continued presence of both guys — Jordan owns the Bobcats, and The Rock has been showing up just often enough to not be forgotten — prevents the next generation of stars from coming into their own. Shaquille O'Neal Is Andre the Giant They both were simultaneously frightening and hilarious, they both started their careers as super-athletic giants and ended as almost pitiable fat men, and they both absolutely mangle the English language. Andrew Bynum Is Brock Lesnar These guys both have unsettling injury histories that lead fans to worry that their careers could end at any given moment. They both sport enormous, man-child physiques and terrible, childish attitudes. Still, each is younger than everybody thinks (Bynum is 24 and Lesnar is 34, which is fairly young for a wrestler of his renown), each has huge potential to remake the sport in his image, and each has notoriously bullied a much smaller foe: Bynum laid out J.J. Barea in last year's playoffs, and Lesnar threw a one-legged kid down a flight of stairs. Really, that happened. JaVale McGee Is The Big Show These two belong together, if for no other reason than that they're both dominant physical presences who somehow have a greater capacity for comedy than outperforming their opponents. Both are really tall guys who are incredibly athletic by any standard measure but who can't help looking wildly uncoordinated at times, and their failures have become the fodder for hilarious blooper videos. Derrick Rose Is Chris Jericho Both guys are arguably the best in the business, and they both complain a lot. Rose was the savior of a middling Chicago Bulls franchise, while Jericho has twice departed from WWE and returned as its putative messiah. Jericho has his own metal band and, um, Rose has a rap song (by Yung Berg) about him. Kevin Love Is Randy Orton Both guys are part of a family tradition — Love is a second-generation pro, and Orton is a third-generation wrestler — and both are tons better than their fathers were. Both are immensely talented but are still learning how to use their skills to make the people around them better. Both meet the criteria for being megastars, except that, you know, they're not megastars. Both have sketchy beards. Magic Johnson Is "Stone Cold" Steve Austin They were small-town guys who became just about the biggest stars ever in their sports. They redefined their respective games until they were forced to retire by HIV/neck injury, and they've both been teasing comebacks ever since. Greg Oden Is Edge They both could have been all-time greats, but both suffered injury before they could reach their potential, and I wish they were both active right now, and that's about it. Anthony Davis Is Dean Ambrose Each is the young guy about to make waves in the majors. Basketball fans all know what Davis will be able to do, but for wrestling fans, just trust me on Ambrose. Marv Albert Is Jim Ross Both are the best in the world at their jobs if only for the excitement and big-time feel they bring to the games/matches they call. They're the voices you imagine when you replay a big moment in your head. Both were kicked out of the booth — Albert for sexual-assault charges in 1997 and Ross for not being the sort of announcer McMahon wanted — only to return to incredible acclaim. (Ross was then removed again, but whatever.) Holger Geschwindner (Dirk Nowitzki's German coach) Is Every Evil Foreign Manager Ever Spike Lee Is "The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart They both wear glasses and ridiculous outfits. They're both insufferable loudmouths and irreplaceably hilarious characters that make the overall product that much better. Worldwide Wes Is Eric Bischoff This is for no other reason than that they're both backstage operators, power players with the ear of the top athletes in their sport, and they're both considered highly suspect because of their influence. They've also both had beer thrown at them. And yes, in this parallel universe, NBA deputy commissioner Adam Silver is John Laurinaitis. They're both tall, gawky, and so uncoordinated you spend the whole time you're looking at them wondering how they got their jobs. As the likely successor to Stern, it remains to be seen if Silver has the compelling anti-charisma that's made Laurinaitis such a surprise success so far. I mean, we can only hope so. It's all about entertainment, right?